CLICK HERE TO READ HIS BLOG FIRST….
So while handling Twitter duty for J’Adore I saw B. Cox post up a link for his blog “Thoughts”. I started to leave a comment that turned into a blog itself so here it is….
Marriage is the hardest job I’ve ever had. I married young, 19. When I met my now husband I knew I had met my soul mate. He finished my sentences and I his. I could be thinking about something and he would start talking about it and vice versa. We had only been dating for 6 months when we got married. Everyone said it wouldn’t last and that we were too young. Granted, it was true that we married too young, but we grew up “together”.
We’ve had our rough patches and there were many times when we didn’t think we would make it. If it weren’t for our faith in God and the belief in each other, we wouldn’t be celebrating our 17 year wedding anniversary this year. People nowadays do get married for the wrong reasons and they divorce to easily. They feel it’s easier to get divorced than to try to work things out. We’ve been through it all and then some. The key is that together with God we got thru it and grew from it. Know that you can’t change a person who doesn’t want to change. If they love you and realize their mistakes they will change. If they don’t or won’t then maybe it wasn’t meant to be. I think part of the problem is people do not pay attention to their intuition.
You know when its right and when its wrong to do something. We all have been there before. You decide to do something and in the back of your mind you start questioning things. Then you start analyzing yourself. You start validating your decisions. When you find yourself validating your actions, know that you are not being true to yourself. I think we look too hard for that right person. In my case, I had just got out of a really bad relationship that almost killed me and I WASN’T looking. I had swore off dating. I was in the mode of being by myself. Having fun with my friends, going to school, and figuring out my path in life. That was my focus. That’s when God led me to him and he to I. I can honestly say God brought us together. His friends had dragged him out that night and mine had dragged me out. I went to have fun and NOT to meet anybody. I had no make-up on, baggy overalls w/a tank top, a hat, and some flip flops. So needless to say I wasn’t tryna be at the club looking cute for anyone. I was just tryin to get my dance and drink on. Yet in still he found me and here we are 3 kids and 17 years later.
People think that marriage is some easy walk in the park. They think that marriage is going to make meaning out of their life. Marriage is a partnership. My husband and I work as a team. When one player is sick or injured, the other player has to step up to the plate and swing for ’em. If you aren’t on the same level or in tuned to one another, you’re never going to win the game. If you start to strike out, you can’t just stop in the middle of a play. Just like watching the videos of the game after it’s over to see where you could have improved, you’ve got to look at your decisions, actions, and reactions, to learn and grow from them. When you find that person just for you and believe me, they’re out there, you will know it. What seems so confusing now will make total sense then.